I still remember the first time I did it.
My heart was beating loudly in my chest, my cheeks were flushed and burning. I double checked the spelling in #everydaystyle & @stylingyou and hit SHARE. I had just posted a photo of the outfit I was wearing on Instagram. For the rest of the day, all I could think was, “Does everyone think that I’m a wanker?”
It had been a while since I had worried about what anyone else thought. But this was different. I was taking the first step in letting people know I was changing – I was ‘owning it’.
The Sarah everyone knew only posted photos of her daughter, yummy food, her homegrown vegies, and her dog. This new Sarah was posting photos at a rapid rate (spamming even perhaps?) to catch the attention of other bloggers and readers by using various hashtags. I was owning that I want to be a writer, I want to help people through my writing and I want to achieve something significant with my writing and thoughts. I kept finding myself coming back to the same question though, does everyone think that I’m just being a wanker?
In early September, Robyna and I launched The Mumy & The Minx. I still have a mild anxiety attack the night before a post I write is published. I question myself, wondering if everyone thinks I am a tosser and have no authority to be commenting on the topic at hand.
In the midst of all of this self-doubt, do you know what happened next? I started to have friends tell me they thought I was “inspiring”. (What?!) They saw a confident girl who was embracing her passion and doing something about it. And then I started to get the occasional message from someone I didn’t know telling me how much they identified with something I had wrote, and it made them feel understood. I realised anyone who thinks I am a wanker, isn’t worth my time or my energy worrying about. I started to confidently own the direction I want my life to take.
Sharing with those closest to you that you have a passion and you’re going to do something about making that passion a part of your day-to-day life can be confronting. Especially when it might not be what they expect. These people will hopefully be supportive and give you their blessing, even if it might take some of them (e.g. my Dad) a little while to process.
People who don’t support you – continue to be polite and kind and know it’s not about you personally. It’s an issue they have. Perhaps you don’t know them as well as you thought you did.
These days, I post all sorts of things and hashtag them as well as tag other bloggers who I’ve never met before. Sharing what makes you tick can be scary. But do you know what I think is scarier? Not sharing and spending a lifetime wondering what might have happened if you had.
Is there something holding you back from ‘owning’ your passion?