I love clothes and fashion. I always have and motherhood has not changed that. But my sartorial choices and my beauty routines have changed drastically since the boys arrived.

These are my secrets.

• Before kids, if I accidentally got water on a silk blouse, the conversation with myself would go a little like this:  Can you see it in this light?  What if I am outside?  It’s not that bad. You can hardly see it.  Hubby – can you see this water mark? Oh blow it all, I am changing this top. Now, I choose clothes based on their ability to hide stains.  That, and their ability to be thrown into the wash with very little care or thought.

• Before kids, within the oceans and oceans of spare time on a weekend, I would have a bath.  I’d give myself a facial and shave my legs.  Sometimes champagne was involved. Candles. A magazine. Hours to myself. Oh hang on, where was I? Sorry, got stuck in a kind of nostalgic delirium.  Ah yes, that’s right: Now, I have invested in a wardrobe full of leg-covering long skirts and dresses. My legs express extreme surprise whenever they are reacquainted with a razor. Sometimes I pass this off as being staunchly feminist. In reality, I don’t have time and can’t really be arsed.  If, however, anyone wants to draw me one of those pre-kid baths, I’ll give up my ideals immediately.

• Before my darling, darling boys, I wore matching underwear.  Sometimes I went as far as matching suspender belts and stockings. I stand by my right to be staunchly feminist AND wear sexy under-things.  The bras had glamorous names like “balconette” and”demi-bra”.  They still wink at me as I rifle through my underwear drawer to find the soft cup, no-underwire beige numbers.  It ain’t sexy.  It’s damn comfy though.

• Before children, if I woke up with bags under my eyes, I would spend a good half hour carefully applying concealer, bronzer, mascara.  Now, I ALWAYS wake up with bags under my eyes and I don large sunglasses.  But only really cheap ones because the baby always breaks them.  Have kids.  Not allowed nice stuff.

• If I do get feel the urge to put make up on, the BB cream gets quickly rubbed over my face – in much the same manner I apply Master I’s sunscreen – very quickly with the aim of maximum coverage in minimum time.  I complain less though.

• Before the boys I would quite regularly give myself a steam facial.  I still do.  It’s now called opening the just-finished dishwasher.

• Before kids, I would spend every sixth week at the hair dresser, trying a new colour and an edgy cut.  Now I wear a pony tail half the time and a hat the other half.

• Before my boys, I dry-cleaned and hand washed clothing. Since kids, I have discovered the incredible powers of baby wipes to clean absolutely everything.  Seriously.  These things have magical powers.

• Before kids, I dressed to please people around me. Now, I just dress to please me. If I feel like wearing some thing sparkly to the school run, I do.  If I want to wear a hair chain, I do and my little boy tells me I look like a princess. It makes me smile.

• Before kids, my clothes were perfectly pressed. Now, I hardly bother ironing, knowing that my dress will be crushed by cuddles.

• Before kids, my most prized pieces of jewellery featured diamonds. Now, the coloured macaroni necklaces my son makes me take pride of place on my jewellery stand and in my heart. I am not giving away the diamond necklace though.

How have your beauty and fashion routines changed to accommodate kids? Ever get stuck in nostalgic delirium?