If you have nothing but a passing knowledge of Peppa Pig, then this post will make no sense to you. And you will suspect I am slightly unhinged. If your child has only a moderate interest in the antics of the pig family this will make moderate sense. And you will presume I am moderately unhinged. If your child is obsessed with Peppa Pig then you will be as unhinged as I am. And this will make perfect sense.
If you’d rather Peppa Pig remain unsullied, maybe check out this post about an imagined episode of Offspring instead.
You see, I have my suspicions that things aren’t quite as rosy in Peppa Pig town as we are lead to believe. I think all that jumping in muddy puddles and (literal) ROFL is masking darker truths.
Take Miss Rabbit. She has monopolised every single part-time job in town (which the mummies can’t be happy about). All those diverse income streams point to one thing – money laundering. I think she’s the head of lucrative drug cartel and needs the funds to support her own habit.
Then there’s Daddy Pig. Hiding his pain behind a jovial exterior. Oh, he pretends to be happy but every time he is fat-shamed by his wife and kids, he dies a little inside. He just can’t shift the middle-aged weight, no matter how much football he plays with his friends.
The show never tells us what Mummy Pig does for a living, but she works from home occasionally. I suspect she is a blogger. Trying to regain some of the status and individuality she felt when she worked in the City before kids and the GFC. Back when she was a big-shot stock broker and earned more than Daddy Pig. She writes about how she keeps Peppa and George’s clothes spotless (because, seriously, I want to know), how confident she is wearing her bikini (because, seriously, I want to know) and her suspicions around Miss Rabbit’s bogarting every job in town (because, seriously, I want to know).
Peppa Pig will grow up to become prime minister (assuming the prime minister is an animal and does not adopt human form as per the anomaly that is the Queen). She will make her cabinet cry on a daily basis through fat-shaming and telling them that they are just too young to do things.
Do you make up back stories for the characters in your kid’s TV shows for your own amusement?
No? Just me then. That’s awkward.
Haha! You are hilarious.
I have often wondered about that Mrs Rabbit! And yes, you are completely unhinged and fabulous.
Bron x
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There’s something going on I tell you 🙂
There is an awful lot of fat shaming going on towards poor daddy pig.
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Poor, poor Daddy Pig.
This is spot on. That Mrs Rabbit HAS to be up to no good! And the fat-shaming of Daddy Pig is actually quite disappointing!
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It’s quite bizarre in a kids show that they do that I think.
Yes! Poor daddy pig. A world of pain hides behind his bespectacled eyes. Brilliant x
You have to look, but you can see it.
Ive always wondered – how does Mummy Pig type with her trotters?
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AND how does she wear a bikini when as a pig she would have more than two nipples? The big questions 🙂
HAHAHAHAHA. All completely reasonable conclusions 🙂 This made me laugh so much!!
So glad it made you giggle.
Ha! Hilarious! It makes perfect sense that Mummy Pig would be a blogger – typing away at her computer in the comfort of her own home 🙂
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And because she is clearly very intelligent, it would be a natural choice 🙂
Haha love it! Poor daddy pig, I’m feeling a bit sorry for him now 🙁
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I always feel sorry for him – he’s really not that much bigger than anyone else but he’s the only one that cops it.
I’ve often wondered about Miss Rabbit. She works 24 hours a day poor love. She must have some habit to support. Daddy Pig is ridiculed for more than his weight. He seems to be the butt of every joke, poor bastard.
I personally love Mr Fox. Shifty Mr Fox and his van of wares. And Madame Gazelle who has the patience of a saint.
Did you see the one when everyone had to pitch in and do Miss Rabbit’s jobs because she tripped? Classic. Yes, Daddy Pig does seem to cop it.