It’s not nice to judge. We all know we shouldn’t do it. Aside from judging people who judge. Which is a loophole some people use that I have never quite gotten my head around. Not that I am judging them.
I think I am fairly non-judgemental. I won’t think less of a mum who loses it with her kids – we’ve all been there. I don’t normally jump to conclusions based on the way someone looks or acts. I try to teach my kids that every person has a lot more to them than initially meets the eye. But when it comes to haircuts, particularly boys haircuts, I turn into Ms Judgement.
If someone was to judge my hair cut they would assume I’m a busy mum who doesn’t own a hairdryer, straightener or potentially a hair brush. That’s not far off the mark. I do actually own all those things – I just don’t own the time to use them effectively.
But there is just something about boys haircuts that makes me assume all kinds of things.
Here are the stories I read into boys haircuts.
- Number three blade or less all over. The child is either enrolling in military school or head lice has been rampant. Given we don’t have military school in Australia, I’ll tend to assume the latter.
- Fauxhawk. On baby in bath, hair sticking up thanks to the bubbles, it’s SO cute. On eighteen month old year old because mum has wacked a huge dollop of wax in her kid’s hair, I don’t know. Let ’em be kids?
- Rats tail. Oh that kid is going to be delightfully well behaved.
- Nearly bald all over aside from a comparatively long fringe. Again, I am pretty much going to assume this kid is on his way to a life of petty crime.
- Ronaldo’s hair cut. So this is everywhere at the moment and my son really wants it. I say no. Maybe I’m just mean.
- Spiky every which way hair, normally reserved for Japanese anime characters and favoured by boy bands. This just looks like a great deal of work. I shall assume grand amounts of vanity and spare time. Also slightly jealous of ability to wield a hair straightener.
- Really really really long curls. Mum just can’t bear to part with those beautiful locks. What if the curls never grow back?
- Bowl cut. Not so common these days. Favoured by my father doling out unflattering, definitely boy-like, haircuts back in my youth. Says we are a practical family that doesn’t waste money or time on taking kids to the hair-dresser. May explain my hairstyle prejudice as being based in some early childhood envy?
- White blonde hair with slight greenish tinge. Have spent the better part of summer in the pool.
- Uneven hair with obvious chunks out. Either a new hairdresser is needed pronto or someone has enjoyed some quality scissor time. My son actually cut his hair once and I didn’t notice until his teacher pointed it out.
You probably already guessed, my own boys have very boring short back and sides. As soon as it needs to be brushed to look neat, it’s time for a haircut. They will probably end up teenagers with complicated mullets and tracks just to spite me.