It’s not nice to judge. We all know we shouldn’t do it. Aside from judging people who judge. Which is a loophole some people use that I have never quite gotten my head around. Not that I am judging them.
I think I am fairly non-judgemental. I won’t think less of a mum who loses it with her kids – we’ve all been there. I don’t normally jump to conclusions based on the way someone looks or acts. I try to teach my kids that every person has a lot more to them than initially meets the eye. But when it comes to haircuts, particularly boys haircuts, I turn into Ms Judgement.
If someone was to judge my hair cut they would assume I’m a busy mum who doesn’t own a hairdryer, straightener or potentially a hair brush. That’s not far off the mark. I do actually own all those things – I just don’t own the time to use them effectively.
But there is just something about boys haircuts that makes me assume all kinds of things.
Here are the stories I read into boys haircuts.
- Number three blade or less all over. The child is either enrolling in military school or head lice has been rampant. Given we don’t have military school in Australia, I’ll tend to assume the latter.
- Fauxhawk. On baby in bath, hair sticking up thanks to the bubbles, it’s SO cute. On eighteen month old year old because mum has wacked a huge dollop of wax in her kid’s hair, I don’t know. Let ’em be kids?
- Rats tail. Oh that kid is going to be delightfully well behaved.
- Nearly bald all over aside from a comparatively long fringe. Again, I am pretty much going to assume this kid is on his way to a life of petty crime.
- Ronaldo’s hair cut. So this is everywhere at the moment and my son really wants it. I say no. Maybe I’m just mean.
- Spiky every which way hair, normally reserved for Japanese anime characters and favoured by boy bands. This just looks like a great deal of work. I shall assume grand amounts of vanity and spare time. Also slightly jealous of ability to wield a hair straightener.
- Really really really long curls. Mum just can’t bear to part with those beautiful locks. What if the curls never grow back?
- Bowl cut. Not so common these days. Favoured by my father doling out unflattering, definitely boy-like, haircuts back in my youth. Says we are a practical family that doesn’t waste money or time on taking kids to the hair-dresser. May explain my hairstyle prejudice as being based in some early childhood envy?
- White blonde hair with slight greenish tinge. Have spent the better part of summer in the pool.
- Uneven hair with obvious chunks out. Either a new hairdresser is needed pronto or someone has enjoyed some quality scissor time. My son actually cut his hair once and I didn’t notice until his teacher pointed it out.
You probably already guessed, my own boys have very boring short back and sides. As soon as it needs to be brushed to look neat, it’s time for a haircut. They will probably end up teenagers with complicated mullets and tracks just to spite me.
Frullets, mullets and beyond…
Boys and men are owning their hairstyles more and more as part of an expression of their own individuality – just as many women do.
Some hairstyles are just very hard to pull off with flair – nothing looks more beautiful and stylish than a woman who really pull of a ‘pixie’. Same for the boys – what works for a soccer superstar is not necessarily the best look for a six-year-old!
Let’s just accept that these boys are trying out what’s right for them – I had some shockers growing up too – the Page Boy (anyone remember Prince Valiant – that’s what I looked like), the lioness (which unfortunately just looked like a straggly mess on me).
And in these days of FaceBook and Instagram – these sometimes regrettable hair style choices are going to be around forever – remember that boys before trying out that number 1 buzzcut!
Indeed – a bad haircut stays around for a lot longer than two weeks these days! I don’t mind all the unique quiffs – it’s just that most of them need product to look any good and I don’t think a six year old needs to be using product.
BAHHAHHAHAHH! My kids both look like they have bowl cuts at the moment. Bowl cut for us = too long between haircuts, too lazy to go to the hairdressers…
My Dad literally placed the bowl on my sister and my head and cut around it. We are in desperate need of cuts around here too!
I’m with you, rats tails = future felon in my judgemental eyes! To be fair, I used to live in a less salubrious part of Adelaide where rats tails ran wild and the “future” part was probably only a year or so away . . .
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I know it’s such a clichè but everyone seems to have the same opinion 🙂
I wish it was as easy as a short back and sides for me Robyna. The girl hair is the bane of my existence. I would love to just run the clippers over it and be done. I don’t love a funky haircut on a little boy. I think it looks a bit weird. High ponytail buns made a very brief apperance at the school I work at. Not loving that look! Bron x Ps- No judgement about your judgement.
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I was going to write about man buns as well – but I kind of think it’s cute on the right guy. The right guy is NOT my six year old 🙂 Hats off to mums of girls – I see the complicated braids at school and wonder how on earth they have time!
This is so funny because I think exactly the same! Short back & sides on our lil man here too
Oh those poor kids with the unfortunate haircuts!
Gosh that is WAY too much thinking! I just get the easiest and low maintenance cut for my boys. But they are different as one has thin hair and an easy hairline and the other has thick hairline and 3 cowlicks!
Definitely an over-thinker as charged 😉 My eldest has two cowlicks, right at the front – he is going to hate that growing up.
Totally with you on the judgement. Seriously, little boys don’t need fashion haircuts. Any kind of style or product in a little boy’s hair and I’m just like “uh oh – bogan child”. I know it’s bad, but really? Why do that to your child? Plenty of time for them to humiliate themselves with hair styles in their teen years – why start that process earlier than needed? ?
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It’s funny isn’t it? The more effort that needs to go into a small boys hair (so obviously by the parents), the weirder it seems.
My brother is a hairdresser and cuts both my son’s hair. He does what he wants to do and I pretty much have no say in it {as I’m not paying for the service and he cuts their hair in a highchair, in my Mum’s backyard}. I’m pretty lucky he gives the boys trendy/easy hairstyles and I think they look cute.
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You are lucky! I can’t believe how much it costs for a boys haircut but then they probably are bit more squirmy and difficult than men.
SO good. I say I’m non-judgemental, but we ALL say that don’t we? Truth be told I’m as judgy as the next person (in the nicest possible way). My son decided this year that he didn’t want to get his haircut and for most of his four year old kinder year I’ve been happy for him to look like some sort of boy band member or mini little surfie grommit dude but as his first ever school year looms I had to insist on a haircut. He wasn’t happy about it, and mostly I am all for them having a degree of self determination about these things, but you know what? I just couldn’t help but think his teacher was going to judge him harshly and assume him to be a trouble maker! Ah, which judging by this article may well have been the case! x
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I actually think that long hair is kind of cute on littlies – particularly all the curls! But I really do think people (not just me!) judge haircuts.