Last Friday our school held its annual trivia night. It’s always a big night. Put a group of parents together, give them an excuse to play dress-ups, offer them cheap alcohol and things are bound to get a bit squiffy. Okay, perhaps a lot squiffy. The next morning we gathered around the side lines of our various kids’ soccer commitments, sporting large sunglasses and even larger take-away coffees whispering “So, just how drunk were we last night?”
That Saturday evening we went to the NRL double header. It was E’s first footy game and 80 odd minutes of sitting still went just about as well as you might expect with a two year old. We did not stay for the second game. In fact the whole weekend confirmed the long held parenting belief that toddlers are basically just tiny drunk humans.
Here’s why …
- He kept taking off his shoes. The only other person who would be more committed to divesting themselves of their footwear is a drunk lady at the races at about 4pm.
- He completely over estimated his abilities. We were waiting for the bus driver on the trip home. Where is driver? E kept asking. Then he popped up out of seat and had a quick look at the driver’s seat. I drive? He asked. In related news, I completely over-estimated my drink-fitness, trivia knowledge and hang-over competenece.
- He was completely and inappropriately loud. Even at a football game. But people were quite indulgent. Helps to be two and very cute. Shall not talk about the inappropriate loudness on display on Friday night. Suffice to say a friend who lives quite a number of streets away from the trivia night heard the carry on. Sorry neighbours.
- He is completely incoherent but incredibly committed to what he is saying. Still on the bus, he kept saying “The bus must stop. It seems a little bit hot. The wheels on the bus. Da da dum dum.” In the same vein I think I might have been completely committed to incorrect trivia answers.
- He strikes up chats with random strangers. Because why not? And it helps to be two and very cute.
- He fell asleep after big promises. At 8pm he was still rearing to go, by 8:30pm he was falling asleep and not caring where. I made it until past 11pm on Friday night. That’s a mum record for me.
- Odd stuff happens all the time. At the end of the evening he ran up the mall, singing I love batman. A strange guy said “I love batman too. I’m wearing batman undies. Wanna see?” Seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up and that read a lot creepier than it was in real life. One of those Did that really happen last night? moments. I encountered a few of them Saturday morning in relation to Friday night. Most of which we were confirmed by terrible snapchat moments that I quickly deleted.
What do you reckon?
Are uninhibited two year olds just like tiny drunk humans?
Any related stories to share?