Enough with the pressure – Enough

Do you feel it? The constant pressure.

enough. that's enough pressure.

Are you mindful enough? Hustling hard enough? Giving enough? Taking enough? Parenting enough? Healthy enough? Sustainable enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough? Are you putting yourself first enough? Are you organised enough? Is your house neat enough? Are you happy enough? Are you enough?

The answer is always probably not. You are probably not enough but let me tell you sell you the things that will make you enough. Let me set a ridiculously high standard as to what “enough” means and then I’ll show you the way to get there. In a blog post. In a webinar. In five easy steps. For five easy payment installations.

Enough. Enough. ENOUGH. I have had enough.

The constant barrage of self-improvement is wearing me down. I’d like to sit with who I am for a little while. Just let me catch my breath.

I’m not pretending I’m perfect. I am so far from perfect. I’m not pretending that I shouldn’t improve myself. I should. I think that’s a worthwhile thing to do. I’m sure that the intentions behind every post, video, seminar or course are motivated by a genuine desire to improve the life of someone else. A genuine desire to inspire.

But I don’t feel inspired. I feel bombarded. I feel overwhelmed.

This feels hypocritical. I am a blogger. I have fallen into this business of advice giving. I wrote those posts about spending time with your kids while my kids tugged at my sleeve and demanded I get off the computer. And I suspect I’m not alone. I suspect that there is a lot more advice given than taken. Even by the people writing it. Guilty as charged.

Individually, there are the best of intentions. Collectively, those intentions roll into an avalanche of unmet expectation and unrealistic pressure. Particularly if I wade too dangerously deep into social media. The point at which I can feel myself drowning.

I came off the corporate treadmill and I unwittingly stepped onto another one. The constant chasing of lifestyle perfection. Where no-one is quite sure of the prize but it looks very shiny on instagram.

No-one wins that race. I’m going to take a rest. Think about all the things in my life that are more than enough.

It’s enough that I have a place to write and that kind people read my words. I don’t have to write a viral post or be a full-time blogger. Where I am in this space is enough. If it becomes not enough, I know where to find help.

It’s enough that I have the capacity to support myself. I don’t have to go out and get a full-time, high-flying job right now to prove my worth.

It’s enough, more than enough, that my boys are healthy and happy. They don’t need to excel, go faster, do better.

It’s enough that I have a house. A roof over my head. It doesn’t need to be constant perfection.

It’s enough that I have food to eat. It doesn’t need to be transformed into an object of beauty and photographed in the best possible light.

It’s enough to have clothes to wear. I don’t need to style them into an Instagram worthy post every day. Unless I genuinely want to.

I am all for hobbies, for art and for passions. For loving cooking. For adoring craft. For etching stories. For finding fun in fashion. As long as those things bring joy.  As long as I don’t take someone else’s passion, their art and their beauty and turn into my base-line “enough”. It’s then that the treadmill starts. It’s then when I need to step off.

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How do you deal with constant information overload and the pressure of perfection?

 

Linking up with Essentially Jess and IBOT

54 thoughts on “Enough with the pressure – Enough

  1. Lydia C. Lee says:

    I stepped off the perfection thing a long time ago (teenagers will do that to you) However, still overwhelmed at the moment. Working hard on finding the joy (as in making sure I make time for it, even if it’s only once or twice a week). But, it’s a day by day process, so each day could bring some change!

  2. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says:

    Great post!
    I don’t feel the pressure. Well, actually I do. I think I don’t, but I do.
    I feel the pressure when it comes to getting my books recognised, but that’s just me putting pressure on myself. But just as you’ve said above, remembering what you’ve done is already enough …
    Yep, great post. Got me thinking …

    • Robyna says:

      Oh, I am so glad you liked it. I think it depends on how I am feeling and my level of vulnerability as to how much I feel that pressure. You are a published author – that’s incredible and definitely more than enough.

    • Robyna says:

      So true — But I love that you always write about the bigger picture issues that we really should be thinking about. Definitely puts things into perspective.

  3. Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life says:

    Brilliant post! Sometimes I do a digital detox to take time out just for this reason! One of the problems of digital media is seeing the best sides of everyone else, the side they project to the digital world. I often remind myself that this isn’t reality, not for me and probably not for them either.

    A while ago I saw some funny posts of the not so perfect background to some perfect looking Instagram photos. It was a real eye opener.
    Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life recently posted…How To Prevent and Treat Split EndsMy Profile

  4. Vanessa says:

    I ignore that pressure. I’m far too lazy for it. I know that I do the best I can. Sure, sometimes I wish I could do more…like right now I wish I hadn’t ignored uni last week so I was less stressed this week. But that’s about as far as it goes for me. I don’t clear the crap from my coffee table when I’m snapping a photo of dinner. Mostly because I want to eat my freaking dinner!
    Vanessa recently posted…The Staycation That WasMy Profile

  5. Bel says:

    Great post! A few years ago I decided that I was happy with my life and my place in this world. It doesn’t mean I don’t dream and want for things because I still do, but at the end of the day I am content. I was sick of comparing myself to others, trying to be part of the next big thing or hype even though it wasn’t really me. I’ve been done for a long time and am much happier for it.
    Bel recently posted…My favourite thing about my thirtiesMy Profile

  6. hugzilla says:

    I don’t personally feel the pressure but I can totally see where it’s coming from. We are bombarded daily with advice and so-called “inspiration”. We are bombarded with images of impossibly perfect houses, meals and bodies. No wonder so many people feel like they are never enough. For me, it is GAF about the things that matter to me – I love a clean, kick-ass looking house – and knowing the things I DGAF about – I don’t need to be the world’s best cook or the world’s most stylish mum. It comes back to that old chestnut about not having it all x

    • Robyna says:

      That’s just it. It’s exhausting to continually be comparing. But I guess it’s true about the highlight reel being all we get to see.

  7. Deborah says:

    Oh I can so relate. I was just thinking about this the other day as I’ve been getting stress headaches and had some BP issues (though I’m on medication already!).

    And I realised, half of the things I was worried about were pressures I was putting on myself. They had nothing to do with other’s expectations.

    Although I did say ‘no’ to something and someone yesterday which made me feel good. Guilty but good.
    Deborah recently posted…The i in teamMy Profile

  8. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says:

    Call me old fashioned but I can’t help but think that for all it’s convenience the modern world puts us all under so much pressure of so many kinds. There’s a lot to be said for dancing to the beat of your own drum and finding your joy. This post reminds me of one of my favourite quotes, ” you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.” Thank you for being the voice of reason!

    • Robyna says:

      SO that. And also I think we need to think about why we are doing things. If they aren’t necessary things and we are doing them only because we feel we should, I don’t think that’s helpful.

  9. Sarah @ Sarahs heart writes says:

    This echoes so much how I felt for the longest time. I must admit, I reached this exhaustion about a year ago. I stopped looking at blogs that were advising me how to improve myself. I managed to live my life well before blogs but it astonished me how quickly I relied on online advice to tell me how to live my life. I still get tempted but then usually feel worse off for it as I realise that the post is always written from the perspective of what worked for the writer and doesn’t apply to me. I’m better off trusting my own intuitions, learning from my own experience. I’m also better off financially. Having said that, I recognise gaps and then I seek out what I need. Great post Robyna xx
    Sarah @ Sarahs heart writes recently posted…Because that is businessMy Profile

    • Robyna says:

      And I honestly think that not everyone practises what they preach either — I think it’s often a wish list for the writer as well as the reader.

  10. Collette says:

    Yep, totally had enough! My little family, my small and messy house, my two days of work – these are all enough for me. There are no great empires built here, and I’m coming into my happy place. To not be influenced to some degree is virtually impossible. But I look at all these things that you speak of, the same way I do when I sit down to read a beautiful fashion magazine. Beautiful, curated images for escapism only. My life will never be like those pages of a magazine, but I’m pretty happy with my lot. xx
    Collette recently posted…The Importance of Rituals and How They Impact WellbeingMy Profile

    • Robyna says:

      I think that’s the perfect way to look out – as aspirational rather than constantly inspirational – a lot less pressure with that change of a few letters.

  11. kit@lifethroughthehaze says:

    Robyna
    I am my own worst enemy. I set the imaginary expectations on myself that I think others have when really they are just in my head. Rationally & logically I know I am enough and I know that I don’t need to be all the things I think I need to be but … I really need to just accept that I am enough I do enough and I am doing the best I can for now.
    Love this!
    Kit xoxo
    kit@lifethroughthehaze recently posted…MushroomsMy Profile

  12. Mel Roworth says:

    It is exactly as you say. The feeling of being bombarded is our own deep emersion in the social media world.
    I could take infinite beautiful 1080pxsquare images but they would not necessarily reflect the full picture.
    Family life isn’t pristine and should not be represented that way.
    Real people, real expectations. That’s what I want to see more of.

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