Nearing Forty

It was my birthday last week.  I’m still a couple of years off the big four-oh but that didn’t stop my dad from bringing up its proximity. And consoling me about it. Truth is that before that message I hadn’t given my age much thought.  With a birthday sandwiched between our school fete and a number of other projects I hadn’t given my birthday much thought at all.
Forty Birthday - Soon
Thirty-eight is one of those ages. Quiet and self reliant. No need for a fuss.


The day itself was busy with a doctor appointment for my son in the early morning and managing an event in the afternoon. There were unexpected moments. The appointment finished early and I had a late breakfast with my sister. Followed by a lovely walk and a little shop. I was showered by virtual love on the socials. My boys took me out to dinner at our local Vietnamese restaurant. An anonymous bunch of flowers were delivered (thank you!). All in all, a lovely day. Enough to make me feel special and loved. Which is all I really want from a birthday.

I don’t get down about my age. It’s one of those things that looks entirely different up close. When I was seventeen, thirty seemed impossibly old and sophisticated. From the other side it seems impossible young and naive. And when I was seventeen, forty seemed the exclusive realm of the elderly.

Forty isn’t so scary when you are close to it. Most of the women I admire are forty and over. It doesn’t feel like a barrier. It looks more like freedom. Getting to an age that you live and love freely, without being caught up in worrying about what others think. Where you find your confidence and your stride. Where you start to understand what’s truly important to you and you are brave enough to go after it.

My boys are getting older and while I feel a pang that the baby days are behind us, I’m excited about what we can do in the future. Travel opens up. The things we can share and enjoy widen. My husband and I will be able to spend more time together again. The future seems very bright and full of possibility.

When I was younger I had an ambitious list of things I wanted to achieve. My career being the primary focus. My twenty year old self might not be terribly impressed with my nearly-forty year old self. But my bucket list has changed. The career goals are still there but they in the company of other things. Being confident about who I am and knowing what I stand for. Making the world a little bit better for my boys. Keeping kindness at the forefront of my thoughts and actions. Experiencing life in all its wonder. Putting my time and energy into the things that will, in turn, renew my energy and passion. Constantly learning and being open to what those things are.

So am I worried about turning forty? Not at all. I might even organise a little party to celebrate the fact.

Arrow 2

Had any big birthdays lately?
How do you feel about getting older?


Linking up with Kylie Purtell – Capturing Life and IBOT 

40 thoughts on “Nearing Forty

    • Robyna says:

      Totally Fabulous. Despite having no issues with growing older, my automatic response when someone asks my age is still 36. It’s like I got stuck there.

    • Kit says:

      35! Oh how I dream to be 35 again and the things I would do differently! I was 45 in May and that is really scary because you fall out of the 35 to 44 age group in ALL statistical data and into the next group that includes 50!!! And I am not ready for the slide into 50!

  1. deb dane says:

    Happy birthday. I am one of those who keeps telling people how awesome the 40s are. I am 44 and truly see this as the decade focused on me and my own personal journey and growth and finding a peace. The twenties were all about me in the world, the 30s about home and family, and 40s about tying it all together xxx
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    • Robyna says:

      I think that’s so true – as kids move past needing you ALL the time there is that space to honour yourself AND your family. Maybe that elusive balance is even achievable.

  2. Rachel says:

    I turned 39 last week and actually feel weirdly excited about turning 40 next year. Yes, my life has taken a very different path from what I envisaged at 20 (or even 30 if I’m honest), but it’s full of love and happiness (and quite a lot of snot currently, but that’s a side issue!), and I’m very satisfied with my vintage so far :). Happy birthday to you Robyna x
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  3. Stephanie says:

    Happy Birthday Robyna! I turned 39 earlier this year and for the very first time became quite conscious of my age and had a mini panic attach…but it made me realise, now it’s time to bring the focus back to myself and start doing things for me, not just being a mum. Truly liberating!

  4. Kylie Purtell says:

    I’m not too fussed about getting older myself, but I hate that my kids are getting older. On the one hand it is nice to see the things they are learning, and to gain a little bit more time for myself, but at the same time, losing those gorgeous squishy cheeks and cute little voices is tearing my heart out!

    Happy Birthday for the other day, I’m glad it was a good one x
    Kylie Purtell recently posted…Psychosomatic {addict insane!} | IBOTMy Profile

    • Robyna says:

      Oh I know! My youngest is three and we aren’t going back for any more and I am just holding onto those precious last days of baby cuddles.

  5. Kez @ Awesomely Unprepared says:

    I love this. I’m 32 and as I get deeper into my 30s, people keep cringing on my behalf about how I’m not getting any younger and before I know it, I’ll be 40 (geez – people don’t let you be in the moment haha). I am not fussed and embarrassed, though. I have never felt more ‘me’ and I know that as I get older I will become more and more sure of myself. I wouldn’t trade that for anything!
    Happy belated birthday! x
    Kez @ Awesomely Unprepared recently posted…Comment on 3 things that have creeped me out. by Robyna@theMummyandtheMinxMy Profile

  6. Janet aka Middle Aged Mama says:

    I turn 50 next year and I must confess, if I let myself dwell on it, it does freak me out quite a bit. I didn’t feel like this at all about 30 and 40! I reckon 38 is a great age to be – that’s probably about what I feel and I would be perfectly happy to stay there for some time yet 🙂

    Oh and happy birthday!

    Visiting from #teamIBOT x
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  7. Isabel Robinson says:

    The thing I find so comforting about age is that all your friends and family (and actually, every living thing, when you think about it) are getting older right alongside you. And also, there’s nothing you can do about getting older, the days and week and years march on and ain’t waiting for no one. So it’s best to enjoy every age, I reckon, some people don’t have the privilege of ageing, so those of us that do get it, must squeeze every last drop out x happy 38th birthday!

  8. Natalie says:

    A belated happy birthday! I’m also 38 and I love it- have never had an issue with flaunting my age and enjoying the now and not stressing about the 40s (although this may be because Im always around older people and am married to a man 8 years my senior- so he and his friends talk about their 50th!!).
    I think we are lucky in this day and age that there are far more opportunities for us once we reach our 40s than there were for our grandmothers and great-grandmothers. It’s a wonderful time to be our age, whether that’s 30s, 40s or 50s.

  9. Shari from GoodFoodWeek says:

    I turned 30 this year and I am in love with this decade already. And I can see all the benefits that my 40s will also bring {you know, when you’ve had minimum sleep with a newborn and your toddler wants to start the day nice and early, you dream about how wonderful 40 will be – without babies}. I love this little stage that I am in right now, growing our family. I wouldn’t change it for the world. And I wasn’t afraid of getting older.
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