Have an awesome blogger in your life? This is what they want for Christmas.
Disclaimer one: This will make (vague) sense and be (mildly) amusing to bloggers. If that’s not your bag, this post might on buying for the hard to buy for might be more helpful.
Disclaimer two: These things may not actually exist or be otherwise completely unattainable.
Hands-free, water-proof, voice-to-text Dictaphone
The best blog posts are written in the shower or while driving. Zinging one-liners, the funniest jokes, clever headlines and inspired ideas. You think that their sheer brilliance will etch them forever into your brain. But they are lost, down the drain with the soapy water and permanently parked in garages. What if they could be captured via dictation? And then neatly sent back to the author in an email or SMS? Would blog-land change forever or would we just discover that our awesome shower posts are only brilliant in retrospect through rose-coloured regret. Disclaimer three: Not entirely my idea – was chatting about this with the ridiculously hot and funny Kate from Loveface. If you make such a device, please send me one and send her the credit.
Every writer I know struggles to find time to write. But then sometimes the stars align and you find yourself in front of the computer, with hours to spare, no-one around and chores (mostly) done. In all that glorious space, I find the inspiration tap runs dry. It’s when the cursor blinks and the seemingly endless supply of ideas stops. A switch would be very helpful. It should also come with a timer function. So that the 3am inspiration strikes at a more respectable hour.
A supply of free, awesome stock photos that no-one else knows about it.
You know you want this. You also know you’d end up blogging about it and it would stay secret for about 2 seconds.
A patient photographer who knows to take about 20 quick snaps and a phone with enough memory to hold them
I’m lucky to have the former in my seven year (I’m raising an Instagram husband) but I really need to do something about the phone space and the ritual of deletion that precedes every #everydaystyle selfie.
An endless supply of outdoor feature walls with excellent lighting
I had to giggle when I went out to lunch with a group of beautiful blogging buddies and a good deal of time was spent sourcing “perfect” walls as photo backdrops. It’s a thing.
Confidence in a bottle
Arguably already attainable in the form of Veuve Clicquot. However, this would specifically address the times when you feel your writing is terrible and will never be anything but terrible. When the green eyed monster bites hard and it feels like everyone else around you is killing it. Also helpful for when Yoast tells you your writing “needs improvement” because it doesn’t understand your (clearly awesome) writing devices.
A beautiful new theme
That installs itself without too much faffing and allows your blog to instantly look amazing, professional and just the right amount of pretty without hours of frustration and tears.
Book Deal (with a lovely publisher, a great editor and a time to write it well)
What’s on your bloggy Christmas list?