I’m a brissie girl. Born and bred. I’ve travelled a little bit but I’ve never actually lived anywhere else. So I’ll self-nominate as a Brisbane expert. Clearly not through any basis of comparison to other places – just by virtue of not knowing anything else. Clearly, I could run for president on those qualifications.
Like every city, Brisbane has its own idiosyncrasies. These are just a few….
- You have to shield picnics from maruding thieves. Namely, the ibis. For a comprehensive summary on the awfulness of the winged rat, watch the below…
- If you manage to evade the evil ibis, you will be attacked by magpies for most of spring. This can (apparently) be avoided by wearing a helmet adorned with cable ties.
- If the bird life drives you indoors to eat, heaven help you if you need the bathroom. You will have to ask for a key. The key will be attached to the largest kitchen utensil the restaurant could find. The directions to the bathroom will go like this: go out side and turn right, then turn left down the little alleyway, go past the bins (don’t mind the ibis), then turn right and just down the little stairs. This will be the case whether you dine at the cheap and cheerful cafe or the high end of town. Is this just a Brisbane thing?
- Any person who has grown up in Brisbane and meets another person who has grown up in Brisbane will have less than five degrees of seperation between them.
- That connection will be established almost instantly because the first thing you would have been asked is “Where did you go to school?“
- You have your side of the river. When you venture to the other side (which you never do voluntarily) it feels like a different country. With really bad drivers.
- You might even mortgage your house in order to pay for the cross river tunnel to avoid said drivers.
- When it takes you 45 minutes to get into town during peak hour you feel angry. When it takes you 45 minutes to get to the beach you wonder why you don’t do it more often.
- If you’re Southside side you know that the Northern NSW rivers host the best beaches. If you’re Northside you know that nothing beats Noosa. Except Straddie. Because Straddie beats all.
- When you make plans to stay just over the border during summer you are constantly making daylight savings calculations. And wishing they’d finally bring it to south east QLD.
- You know about all these Brisbane legends: the Hopoate Sculpture, the MLC weather tower and Gotham City building.
- You put on a jumper when it dips below 20 degrees.
- When your favourite act makes it big you live in fear that they will move their gigs from lovely, small venues like the Tivoli and River Stage to the soulless void that is the Brisbane Entertainment Centre. Thankfully, they’ve increasingly opened up the sports stadiums as concert venues. I hope we see more than Adele at the Gabba.
Any Brisbane things to add?
Does your city have its own idiosyncrancies?