When the silence is actually drowning

when the silence is drowning post natal depression

It’s been a couple of months since you saw each other. She had her third baby a few weeks ago and you have been meaning to visit. You sent a card and some flowers and received a thankful text message with a series of gorgeous photos. You wonder if she’s doing okay and make a mental note to phone.

Then your toddler throws cereal on the floor, your phone buzzes with a message from work and your seven year old reminds you of a project that has to be completed that day. All of your busy crowds out thoughts of your friend and her three tiny children.

A few days later you see a Facebook status update and she looks all happy and glowy with her new baby and you exhale. It’s okay. She’s okay. She doesn’t need you. Read more

Enough with the pressure – Enough

Do you feel it? The constant pressure.

enough. that's enough pressure.

Are you mindful enough? Hustling hard enough? Giving enough? Taking enough? Parenting enough? Healthy enough? Sustainable enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough? Are you putting yourself first enough? Are you organised enough? Is your house neat enough? Are you happy enough? Are you enough?

The answer is always probably not. You are probably not enough but let me tell you sell you the things that will make you enough. Let me set a ridiculously high standard as to what “enough” means and then I’ll show you the way to get there. In a blog post. In a webinar. In five easy steps. For five easy payment installations.

Enough. Enough. ENOUGH. I have had enough. Read more

Motherhood & the impossibility of down time

Motherhood and the impossibility of down time

I am lying beside my two year old. My head is full of things I should be doing but I can’t leave until he drifts off to sleep. He had a nap at daycare, which never bodes well for an easy bed-time. I can hear the television, my husband relaxing. Teeth gritted, I wish my little one to sleep. My own body is giving into exhaustion and I wonder if I will get to the writing/washing/sewing/emails/cleaning or whether I will fall from one bed to another. Another night wasted. Another pay-off for getting up at five when the boys wake and trying to squeeze a few minutes of work in before breakfast. There is precious little child-free time to book-end my day. Read more

Anxiety Girl Strikes Again

Last year I wrote a post about anxiety and how it affects me: When Anxiety Attacks. I wrote it because I know that I am not the first nor will I be the last person to suffer from anxiety. I am also a huge believer in problems shared are problems halved and talking away taboos is half the battle. So here I am, talking about it again.

managing anxiety

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Being Kind at Christmas – why is it so hard?

At a time of year meant to be filled with joy, kindness and goodwill, I often encounter the opposite. Car-parks, time and nerves are all in short supply and the kids have only just started holidays. Why is it so hard to be kind at Christmas?

Just be kind

The other day I was in our local shopping centre and it should have come with M15+ strong language warning. Arguments over who saw a car-park first,  people ignoring give-way signs and other people swearing at them for doing so, patience running thin at checkouts and people squeezing into too-full lifts. Apparently, no-one with kind word, only exasperation about being one of many who decided to shop that day.  Read more

Body Image and Bikinis

It was on sale. A bright pink bikini with rouching in all the right places. The promise of an enhanced bust and minimised thighs. I hadn’t worn a bikini since my eldest was born, pregnancies being the exception. When I was proud to display my burgeoning belly in all its glory.

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I tried the bikini on. And judged the woman in the mirror in front of me. The slight belly. The saddlebags. The flabby bits under my arms. The dimpled thighs. The deflated breasts.  Read more