My dear friend without children

My dear friend without children

My dear friend without children.

Hundreds of years ago we used to hang out. All the time. Our lives were entwined, our dreams were aligned and our parallel paths stretched long ahead.

Then these other people came into my life. People I haven’t known as long. The little people that have snatched all of my heart and most of my time.

You and I still hang out, but it’s so different, I know. I’m sorry. Read more

When the silence is actually drowning

when the silence is drowning post natal depression

It’s been a couple of months since you saw each other. She had her third baby a few weeks ago and you have been meaning to visit. You sent a card and some flowers and received a thankful text message with a series of gorgeous photos. You wonder if she’s doing okay and make a mental note to phone.

Then your toddler throws cereal on the floor, your phone buzzes with a message from work and your seven year old reminds you of a project that has to be completed that day. All of your busy crowds out thoughts of your friend and her three tiny children.

A few days later you see a Facebook status update and she looks all happy and glowy with her new baby and you exhale. It’s okay. She’s okay. She doesn’t need you. Read more

The Motherhood Peace Treaty: because the war never existed and we need to support each other

The Motherhood Peace TreatyA few years ago the media was awash with stories about the “mummy wars”. It was cartoonish and one dimensional. The indulgent stay at home mothers pitted against the ball-breaking super women who worked full-time. I am not sure if such a war ever existed. I think pitting mothers against each other is nothing but click and comment bait.

This is what I see when I look around at the mothers I know:  Some work full-time, others part-time, some work from home, some are self-employed, some work within family businesses, some are studying, some give an extraordinary amount of time to school governance, some do not do any paid work, some volunteer.  All of them are fantastic mothers. All of them have good days and bad days. All of them are busy. All of them are trying to figure out how to do their best. All of them love their children dearly and would do anything for them. And we all need a bit of support from each other.

So, in the spirit of supporting each other in the school yard (which seemed to be the original battlefield), this is my Motherhood Peace Treaty.  Read more