Dear Facebook,
It’s not you. It’s me. Well maybe it’s a bit you. We’ve both changed so much.
Remember the early days? We gave each other exactly what we wanted. It was simple and easy. I shared my photos and thoughts with you. You shared them with my friends. The party wasn’t over full. I knew, really knew, everyone on my friends list. You had no ulterior motive. Or at least it didn’t show back then. We were kids really. Just having fun. Moving easily in and out of each other’s lives.
Then we became a threesome. When iPhone joined our relationship, it fundamentally changed. Suddenly I needed you more. Checking in constantly. An addiction developed. Co-dependency ensued. Not that I flatter myself. I know you don’t me, specifically. But you need the millions of me to stay. You want me to remain hooked.
And so I have stayed. Wondering why. There a glimpses of our old relationship. When I see the photos of friends’ kids, weddings and holidays. The groups full of fun and funny people. Discovering the occasional article that I wouldn’t have without you. I mean you have always been good for a laugh.
But don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying to take control over my life. Deciding what I should and shouldn’t see. Being the primary place where people organise events. Trying to become my default messaging system. Selling me things I don’t want.
I don’t want to know how to make money using your ads by listening to a free(!) webinar by a “guru” (oh the irony that you promote that). You hassle me with side hustles. You lead me down pointless rabbit holes where I argue in my mind with complete strangers and their ridiculous comments. Empty, fake and pointless things are littered all over. I leave you and I wonder why I spent the last half an hour with you. When I am left with a vague feeling of inadequacy and a dent in my contentment. I don’t even think it’s about the dopamine anymore — it’s almost a panic response to stay on top of yet another communication tool.
The blog obligates me to stay. How can I be relevant and create a community without you? Although I wonder why I bother, your algorithm does not favour me.
What are you giving me? This is a one-sided relationship. I give you my time and my information, my loyalty and trust and you give me a million articles on Trump.
So despite my considerable time investment, despite the good times – and there were a few – I’m leaving you.
Facebook: See you tomorrow
Do you struggle with Facebook break-ups?
Hahaha. Facebook: See you tomorrow …. Yep.
I haven’t thought of leaving Facebook to be honest. It’s the best way for me to keep in touch with my friends around the world. Group Messenger chats make my life so incredibly easy when it comes to organising family events. Plus I get to call my Bestie in the US over messenger for free. And when we’re not able to chat for real, we send voice messages to each other so the other receives it when they wake up to start their day. So really I love Messenger I guess …
So, are you guys still together? Or did you break up?
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit recently posted…Day 2798 – What’s your all time favourite ice-cream?
Still together and bickering at times. We work best when we spend some time apart.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
I think you’ve nailed it. Facebook is like one of those friends who has changed so much over the years, that I know I should break up, but I can’t. Ironically, I was really late getting aboard the Facebook train and now I just can’t get myself off the wagon. I think it’s because I’m naturally nosey (and far away from my original home) and I love knowing what everyone else is doing!
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid recently posted…5 Top Tips for Picking the Best Sunglasses
It’s such a modern conundrum isn’t it? Keeping in the loop without being sucked into the vortex.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
Interesting. I have to say, I’m in the process of writing something similar, but it’s more about the pissy behaviour of people on FB – you can’t be too positive or you’re showing off, you can’t complain about anything because you’re attention seeking and a first world problem whiner…it’s like everyone on FB is a total jerk, even if they’re your real life friends…
Lydia C. Lee recently posted…Line in the Sand
It’s so hard to convey tone within an online setting and it’s hard to know how things will come across. I tend to be very bland on Facebook for that reason.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
DO. NOT. EVEN. START. ME. I was nodding the whole way through. The thing that saves me is that I am a total weirdo and I don’t use my phone for internet browsing so that limits my dependency somewhat. Everything else – yes. It sucks for my blog but to be honest I gave up on trying to hustle for reach a long time ago and just post to the abyss. I never had a blog FB page for 18 months and just posted on my personal wall to my friends so I figure anything more than that is great but I’ve stopped angsting about reach. I can’t stop either because I would miss everyone!!
I should really really do that. Even when I take the app off my phone, I end up checking it via the site.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
Yes to everything! So much stuff I don’t want to see, and so much I do that I don’t get to. And then when I share things on Facebook for my blog, some posts will do well and others not so. For some reason my personal photos do well, but videos, not so well. Facebook is a machine I can’t get my head around and to be honest, I have little time to worry about it. Yet, I can’t imagine a life without Facebook… especially when you blog. I totally understand your post. x
Bec Senyard recently posted…The Must Have Book for Home Decorating – HOME: The Elements of Decorating by Emma Blomfield
I have completely given up on the algorithms – I just don’t have the time for it.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
Great post! Facebook has changed and it is a very one sided relationship now! I’m still on Facebook but my commitment to this relationship is definitely waning!
Ingrid
Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life recently posted…Beauty From Within – Caruso’s Natural Health Products
I go through phases. Obviously.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
I am a staunched Facebook avoider. I don’t have it, haven’t had it and won’t get it. I don’t have people overseas that I need to keep up with. I decided a number of years ago that I just don’t need that kind of invasion in my life. And then my husband tries to inform me of all the Facebook things….there is a reason I don’t have Facebook!!!!
Tracy recently posted…If Google Knows Everything…
Haha! You are exactly like my husband and I in reverse. I admire your resolve and envy the time you have saved yourself.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
As much as I would love to leave Facebook, it has allowed me to reach friends I would not have otherwise found. It is my number one source of contact with my daughter now she is living overseas, I am afraid I have let it dominate my life so much, I can’t imagine a world without it.
Nicole @ The Builder’s Wife recently posted…Meeting With Your Builder – What To Expect
It’s a trick isn’t it – when you genuinely need it to keep in contact – to balance the use of it.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
” I give you my time and my information, my loyalty and trust and you give me a million articles on Trump.”
Well nothing describes FB more perfectly than that haha. Facebook has always been my least favourite social media platform. And people take it so flipping seriously… I can’t do that haha.
Vanessa recently posted…My Tonsillectomy
There is a bit of earnestness going on in those comment threads isn’t there?
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
Yes! So true. I’ve really tried limiting my Facebook time recently cause I was going on it too much and it nearly never results in anything meaningful. Still, I keep going on it. I think if it wasn’t for my blog I might quit it too.
Bella recently posted…If we met for tea | Vol. 5
It’s what keeps me on it as well.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
I’m the opposite. I adore Facebook. I have found so many friends through groups etc and it helps me keep in touch with family. I do recognise the need to regulate the use, though.
Amy @ HandbagMafia recently posted…Musings On My First Few Jobs
You’re great at it – your use of it actually seems to bring value to you and others.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
I love my Facebook groups (all 2 of them!). However I rarely use it for my personal account any more.
I’d love to do that but feel I need to be more present for the blog.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
Haha love it. I have had fallings out with Facebook a lot over the last couple of years and had to have little breaks away from it. Its terrible how he (it has to be a He, surely?!) sucks you in, and wants you to be around him all the time…he’s so needy! I love it for keeping in touch with friends (esp my friend who is overseas) but at the same time hate it because its so addictive! 🙂
So needy. Definitely a bloke ?
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
Facebook has a dark side but I’ve found so much support, encouragement and understanding there as a special needs parent that I don’t think I’ll ever leave. Although I could definitely do without the time wasting rabbit holes…
I think the self regulation can be quite hard. I often find myself sliding down those rabbit holes, knowing full well I came to do something else, and forgetting what that was.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
Hahaha yep! So true. I’m really over Facebook, but I do love it to see my friends and family’s updates. I don’t think I could ever say goodbye.
Renee Wilson recently posted…Family movie afternoon with Red Dog: True Blue
The blog and my family/friends keep me there.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
So funny Robyna, and so true! I do love the fb groups I’m in and I’m finding I mostly just checking in on those. I get quite disturbed when a cruelty awareness pic or video pops up in my feed, so I find I’m scrolling less. I don’t understand how fb doesn’t remove them. Anyhow, that’s a whole other debate.
I loved how you wrote this – I was smiling and chuckling and nodding as I read through. ?
Sandra Kelly recently posted…Change On The Horizon.
Oh gosh, I hate those too. And very often you have to investigate whether the image is legit. So many use cruel images that actually don’t have anything to do with the cause being promoted.
Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to Layering
I wonder when we will all stop Facebook. It annoys me but I love it too. Damn you Facebook!!
The struggle is real!
Haha I go through this dilemma all the time – but due to the blog it has to stay – just like you! I love your ‘dent in contentment’ call – couldn’t agree more – if I spend too long browsing the book of face I end up feeling very deflated.
Bryony recently posted…The Search for our Mobile Home – Part Two! Caravan vs Bus
We just have to remind ourselves – “highlight reel, highlight reel, highlight reel”