Break up letter to Facebook

Dear Facebook,

It’s not you. It’s me. Well maybe it’s a bit you. We’ve both changed so much.

Remember the early days? We gave each other exactly what we wanted. It was simple and easy. I shared my photos and thoughts with you. You shared them with my friends. The party wasn’t over full. I knew, really knew, everyone on my friends list. You had no ulterior motive. Or at least it didn’t show back then. We were kids really. Just having fun. Moving easily in and out of each other’s lives.

Then we became a threesome. When iPhone joined our relationship, it fundamentally changed. Suddenly I needed you more. Checking in constantly. An addiction developed. Co-dependency ensued. Not that I flatter myself. I know you don’t me, specifically. But you need the millions of me to stay. You want me to remain hooked.

And so I have stayed. Wondering why. There a glimpses of our old relationship. When I see the photos of friends’ kids, weddings and holidays. The groups full of fun and funny people. Discovering the occasional article that I wouldn’t have without you. I mean you have always been good for a laugh.

But don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying to take control over my life. Deciding what I should and shouldn’t see. Being the primary place where people organise events. Trying to become my default messaging system. Selling me things I don’t want.

I don’t want to know how to make money using your ads by listening to a free(!) webinar by a “guru” (oh the irony that you promote that). You hassle me with side hustles. You lead me down pointless rabbit holes where I argue in my mind with complete strangers and their ridiculous comments. Empty, fake and pointless things are littered all over. I leave you and I wonder why I spent the last half an hour with you. When I am left with a vague feeling of inadequacy and a dent in my contentment. I don’t even think it’s about the dopamine anymore — it’s almost a panic response to stay on top of yet another communication tool.

The blog obligates me to stay. How can I be relevant and create a community without you? Although I wonder why I bother, your algorithm does not favour me.

What are you giving me? This is a one-sided relationship. I give you my time and my information, my loyalty and trust and you give me a million articles on Trump.

So despite my considerable time investment, despite the good times – and there were a few – I’m leaving you.

Facebook: See you tomorrow

Do you struggle with Facebook break-ups?


Linking up with Kylie Purtell – Capturing Life and IBOT

36 thoughts on “Break up letter to Facebook

  1. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says:

    Hahaha. Facebook: See you tomorrow …. Yep.
    I haven’t thought of leaving Facebook to be honest. It’s the best way for me to keep in touch with my friends around the world. Group Messenger chats make my life so incredibly easy when it comes to organising family events. Plus I get to call my Bestie in the US over messenger for free. And when we’re not able to chat for real, we send voice messages to each other so the other receives it when they wake up to start their day. So really I love Messenger I guess …

    So, are you guys still together? Or did you break up?
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit recently posted…Day 2798 – What’s your all time favourite ice-cream?My Profile

  2. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says:

    I think you’ve nailed it. Facebook is like one of those friends who has changed so much over the years, that I know I should break up, but I can’t. Ironically, I was really late getting aboard the Facebook train and now I just can’t get myself off the wagon. I think it’s because I’m naturally nosey (and far away from my original home) and I love knowing what everyone else is doing!
    Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid recently posted…5 Top Tips for Picking the Best SunglassesMy Profile

  3. Lydia C. Lee says:

    Interesting. I have to say, I’m in the process of writing something similar, but it’s more about the pissy behaviour of people on FB – you can’t be too positive or you’re showing off, you can’t complain about anything because you’re attention seeking and a first world problem whiner…it’s like everyone on FB is a total jerk, even if they’re your real life friends…
    Lydia C. Lee recently posted…Line in the SandMy Profile

  4. hugzilla says:

    DO. NOT. EVEN. START. ME. I was nodding the whole way through. The thing that saves me is that I am a total weirdo and I don’t use my phone for internet browsing so that limits my dependency somewhat. Everything else – yes. It sucks for my blog but to be honest I gave up on trying to hustle for reach a long time ago and just post to the abyss. I never had a blog FB page for 18 months and just posted on my personal wall to my friends so I figure anything more than that is great but I’ve stopped angsting about reach. I can’t stop either because I would miss everyone!!

  5. Bec Senyard says:

    Yes to everything! So much stuff I don’t want to see, and so much I do that I don’t get to. And then when I share things on Facebook for my blog, some posts will do well and others not so. For some reason my personal photos do well, but videos, not so well. Facebook is a machine I can’t get my head around and to be honest, I have little time to worry about it. Yet, I can’t imagine a life without Facebook… especially when you blog. I totally understand your post. x
    Bec Senyard recently posted…The Must Have Book for Home Decorating – HOME: The Elements of Decorating by Emma BlomfieldMy Profile

  6. Tracy says:

    I am a staunched Facebook avoider. I don’t have it, haven’t had it and won’t get it. I don’t have people overseas that I need to keep up with. I decided a number of years ago that I just don’t need that kind of invasion in my life. And then my husband tries to inform me of all the Facebook things….there is a reason I don’t have Facebook!!!!
    Tracy recently posted…If Google Knows Everything…My Profile

  7. Vanessa says:

    ” I give you my time and my information, my loyalty and trust and you give me a million articles on Trump.”

    Well nothing describes FB more perfectly than that haha. Facebook has always been my least favourite social media platform. And people take it so flipping seriously… I can’t do that haha.
    Vanessa recently posted…My TonsillectomyMy Profile

  8. Bella says:

    Yes! So true. I’ve really tried limiting my Facebook time recently cause I was going on it too much and it nearly never results in anything meaningful. Still, I keep going on it. I think if it wasn’t for my blog I might quit it too.
    Bella recently posted…If we met for tea | Vol. 5My Profile

  9. Julie @ Off to the park says:

    Haha love it. I have had fallings out with Facebook a lot over the last couple of years and had to have little breaks away from it. Its terrible how he (it has to be a He, surely?!) sucks you in, and wants you to be around him all the time…he’s so needy! I love it for keeping in touch with friends (esp my friend who is overseas) but at the same time hate it because its so addictive! 🙂

  10. Kirsty @ My Home Truths says:

    Facebook has a dark side but I’ve found so much support, encouragement and understanding there as a special needs parent that I don’t think I’ll ever leave. Although I could definitely do without the time wasting rabbit holes…

  11. Sandra Kelly says:

    So funny Robyna, and so true! I do love the fb groups I’m in and I’m finding I mostly just checking in on those. I get quite disturbed when a cruelty awareness pic or video pops up in my feed, so I find I’m scrolling less. I don’t understand how fb doesn’t remove them. Anyhow, that’s a whole other debate.

    I loved how you wrote this – I was smiling and chuckling and nodding as I read through. ?
    Sandra Kelly recently posted…Change On The Horizon.My Profile

    • Robyna May says:

      Oh gosh, I hate those too. And very often you have to investigate whether the image is legit. So many use cruel images that actually don’t have anything to do with the cause being promoted.
      Robyna May recently posted…3 Keys to LayeringMy Profile

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