The world according to my five year old + An AWESOME Give Away!

Photo credit Robyna MayMaster I is a character.  I know this because the first thing his Prep teacher said at our inaugural teacher/parent interview was “ah, your son is quite a character.”

She wasn’t the first to make the observation.  I am still unsure as to whether this is a compliment, but at least he stands out from the crowd.  Never a bad thing.  He does do and say things that are ridiculously hilarious.  Every time I relay one of his quirky stories, I am told – “I do hope you are writing all this down.”

So, this is me, writing it down.

We go to a small catholic school and I think the Preps probably learnt the sign of the cross and how to pray before any reading or writing were tackled. Master I is a Star Wars aficionado.  I know more about Rishi Eels, Acklays, the Forest Moon of Endor and Admiral Akbar than I need to.  So I wasn’t terribly surprised when he decided “May the force be with you” was a much more appropriate greeting than “May peace be with you.”  I am not entirely sure the Prep teachers agreed.

His liberal interpretation of Catholic practice continued one morning on the way to school when I asked him to relinquish the small plastic toy I knew he was holding in his hands.   “I am not hiding anything Mummy, I am just praying.”

Master I does not lack confidence and is fond of an audience, so he was quite chuffed to be saying a line in his school assembly.  We had been practising saying the following in a loud, clear voice: “Jesus wants us to be like Joseph and love and forgive others”. We hadn’t accounted for the fact there would be a microphone to amplify the softer Prep voices. The end result was when Master I took the microphone, he practically yelled “Jesus” in a voice so loud it would make a shearer blush.

With Baby E in the house, who gets fussed over constantly, I want to make sure that Master I also feels a bit special.  So the other day I told him “Do you know you’re growing into a really handsome boy?” He told me, “Yes, Mum, I know.”  Pressing, I asked “How do you know? Do other people tell you?”.  The response: “Oh Mum, no, I just need to look in the mirror.”  I swear, he gets this from his father.

We did have a slight glitch in the looks department when he administered his own haircut.  Un-beknown to me, he decided to cut out two fairly large chunks of his golden locks.  When I asked “Why? Why on earth?  Why?” He replied, “I was just sort of bored with my look.”

Master I is particularly fond of one of the little girls in his class.  Apparently, they have declared their intentions to marry each other, but not until they are much older – eleven at least.  He also informed me that they  haven’t quite decided where they will live.  Her place, or ours.  When I suggested that they might like their own place, he replied – “Oh no, houses are way too expensive, we want to spend our money on other things.  Like Lego.”

With Prep nearly at an end, I am a little sad to think of my boy headed to grade one.  The other night I said “I can’t believe that you are in grade one next year, I am bit sad that you are growing up so fast”.  He said  “Oh, that makes me sad too.  I wish I could stay five forever.  That way, I would never die.”  Sadden even further, I said “Honey, you don’t have to worry about that for a very, very, very long time.”  A slight pause and then: “That’s true. But Mummy, you probably should start to worry about it.”

My mother, Master I’s Oma, has recently had an operation. We spent some time with my Dad, or Opa as the boys call him, whilst mum was in hospital. Afterwards, we dropped Opa off at his house and Master I was concerned about him being alone for the night.  “Mum, will Opa be okay by himself?  He might get lonely.” Master I asked. I replied, “He will be fine, sometimes daddy goes away from work and I am by myself, and I am okay.”  The cheery answer from Master I: “Oh mummy, you have us, you are NEVER alone”

Out of the mouths of babes.

 We are very excited to announce our first ever give-away!


To win a photographic session with the very talented Bree Naomee, please leave a comment on this post telling us about the funny things the kids in your life have said.

This is a game of skill and all entries will be judged on creativity and humour by Sarah & Robyna.

Please include your email address when commenting so that we may contact the winner.

This give-away starts at 6:00am on Monday 17 November 2014 and closes at 11.59pm on Sunday 7 December 2014. The winner will be decided on Wednesday 9 December 2014 and will be contacted by email.  By entering the competition, you are allowing us to contact you via email should you win. We will not use your email for any other purpose. The winner must be based in Brisbane, or able to travel to Brisbane (at the winners’ expense) for the photography shoot.

You might not be in the market for a photography shoot (or a trip to Brisbane), but we still would love to hear about your funny stories, so if you would rather not enter the give-away, just end your comment with No Comp Please.

This competition is now closed.  Thank you for all your entries.  The winner is announced here.



18 thoughts on “The world according to my five year old + An AWESOME Give Away!

  1. Cooker and a Looker says:

    The Big Sister recently told me that she’d had a year off between kindy and prep. I told her she was wrong, but she insisted. “I had a gap year between kindy and prep Mummy!”
    I had to break it to her gently that her ‘gap year’ was in fact the school holidays!

  2. Deborah says:

    I’ll enter this for my niece (who lives in Brissy). No hilarious stories but I still remember her explaining to me (in detail) that mummies don’t wear black. I wore black all of the time and her mother rarely did – so that was her frame of reference. As a result, only those who weren’t mothers wore black!

  3. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says:

    Gosh I always have so many funny things but will just have to think… I love how confident your child is, it’s the best thing I reckon because life is quick to cut everyone down! I’ll be back to make a funny – I hope! Thanks for linking and GREAT giveaway!

  4. Planet Pav says:

    Gotta love kids and the funny things they say 🙂 Being a primary school teacher and having my own teens I have many years of great comments to draw from but your Master I’s ‘mirror’ comment reminds me of a recent one from my 19 year old son. Arriving home from TAFE one afternoon he opened the front door and said “Mum! It happened again, you know that thing that happened last time.” To which I replied “What thing was that Son?” His response? “You know, where I caught a glimpse of myself in my rearview mirror and thought “Wow! I really am THAT good looking!”…I don’t think we have any self esteem issues in that department!
    I’m a Melbourne girl so No Comp Please 🙂

  5. Natalie says:

    I had a chuckle reading this, what a lovely way to honour some of the memorable things your son says! My kids are also at a Catholic school, and one of the most memorable things Miss 10 said after her very first “whole school Mass” when she was 5 years old was “Oh gee I hope I never have to go through that again!”

  6. Creatingw/KaraDavies (@MamaJillaroo) says:

    A funny from my niece. Last year, her parents took her to go see Santa. No prompting, she sat on his knee and said “I know you’re not real, you just like playing dress up like me!”. She was 3 1/2! There was some damage control to happen before she went to daycare the next day!

  7. CnSnEnR says:

    Not sure if this is appropriate for your blog but it was funny…while describing to my 5yo, Ms E the meaning of the word disgusting, my 7 year, little Ms. R pipes up, under her breath, “You mean seeing some going to the toilet naked?” Well, it was my ensuite you walked into without an invite, Ms. R!!!

    • Robyna says:

      Hahahaha – that’s golden – yes they do tend to invite themselves in don’t they? (And know exactly how to improve our self esteem!)

  8. Michelle says:

    I laughed myself silly at the “you should probably start to worry” bit.
    I collect the boys’ sayings for the annual Christmas letter, so here’s a few of my faves, though not for the competition – thank you anyway!:
    From Finn:
    (5 years) “Mum, did you know that a long time ago people were monkeys?”
    (pause) “Really lucky people.
    “Here I am you little bugger.”
    “That word’s not really suitable for a five year old darling.”
    “Do you have to be six?”
    (4 years) “Everyone is my best friend. But not girls.”
    “Hide and seek is my favourite! Is it at the Olympics?”
    (3 years, fishing in his nose) “I got a booger!”
    Me: Would you like a tissue for that?
    Finn: It’s ok. I got my finger.
    From Rory:
    (3 years) “Guess what Mum? I wuuuuuuuuv you… STUPIDHEAD.” (laughs hysterically)
    (while cooking very sticky premixed pancakes with Daddy) “Are we making a disaster?”
    “I farted on you so I’m the boss.”
    And when we were visiting Mum and I explained to be careful around the antisocial, bitey scratchy cat he looked at me with enormous eyes and said worriedly, “Is he gonna eat me?”

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