One day, in the hard to imagine future, my boys will leave home. I will tearfully help them pack. I will hope they return for dinners but manage their own washing and ironing. I will be faced with an empty nest and seek comfort in my husband’s arms. The man who made these boys with me. Our greatest achievement. And when our lives become less about our children and more about each other, I want to turn towards someone I still love with every ounce of my being. I don’t want to turn towards a stranger. Read more
Barriers to intimacy after children and how to overcome them
The baby has finally gone to sleep after fighting for two hours. It’s been a long day and you fear it will be an even longer night. You know you should at least have a chat to your husband but all you want to do is to fall into bed. You are dressed in pyjamas stained with baby food and you can’t be bothered changing them. Your boobs hurt. Your bones ache with fatigue. A cuddle, let alone something more, is the LAST thing on your mind.
Yet, it is important. Kids will grow up and as they do hopefully you and your partner will grow closer together. But that takes some work.
These are some common barriers to intimacy after children with some suggestions about how to overcome them.
Reflection funnies
As a part of reflecting this month, I started to think about some of the funny things that have happened over the last little while. I hope they give you a chuckle too.
Funny thing 1:
Husband was unpacking the shopping recently and put an economy size box of condoms (24 to be exact) on the bench.
Me: “Holy moly hun, we’ve got enough to last us through the next few years there.”
Seriously if looks could kill, I would have dropped dead there.
Finding your tribe, building the village, making memories
Let me just start by saying I’m not a fan of the word “tribe”. It’s a bit like “journey” for me, and yes I am guilty of using that word too. But seriously, when you become a mum, finding a tribe that is the right fit for you is super duper important.
Five super ace awesome things about being a FIFO wife
Over the last month I can safely say that I burnt myself out and ended up really sick. I also faced up to the fact that I can’t do ‘life’ on my own anymore and asked my husband to come home. It was a big, scary question to ask, but he said “yes” without even blinking. It’s a good feeling to know he’s coming home once he finds the right job.
I know what you’re all thinking – that’s not very funny Sarah…
Well in an effort to turn my frown upside down, I thought I’d have a think about what makes FIFO life (or DIDO, BIBO, etc) super ace awesome fun! *said with a DJ Lance voice. Here is what I have come up with: Read more
Life After Kids – The Good Bits
Before I had Master I, I swotted up on pregnancy and babyhood. I read the inevitable (What to Expect when you are Expecting and Baby Love), the slightly hippy (Well Adjusted Babies by Dr Jennifer Barham-Floreani), the somewhat terrifying (Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf), the guilt-inducing (The Smart Love Parent by Pieper) and the hilarious (Up the Duff by Kaz Cooke). In retrospect, I may have believed that becoming a parent was going to come with a final exam – a literal rather than figurative one. What those books cumulatively gave me (aside from a complex) was the belief that: I would never shower before noon, I would lose all sense of my self, the people in my life would lose respect for me, that I was completely unprepared for parenting and if it were possible, I should rethink the whole idea. My reality was very different. I wanted to share seven things in my life that are so much better for having children. Read more